Comment/thoughts from watch watching ABroomandTheMoon
I have missed your videos. You were an inspiration for me when I started doing my own tarot card readings. oo I see you have the past life deck too, I do as well. I have quite a bit more decks than I originally had, I have 10 now. But I’m sure you have many more than that. There are just so many good one’s out there. I’ve actually found it hard to warm up to new decks. Even forging a relationship with my main deck was really hard for me. I had a lot of fear for a very long time and even now I worry a bit. I never used to understand my cards like I do now. I never realize just how accurate she was, and how important it was that I listened to her. I didn’t realize that it was no coincidence when I got the cards that I did. I didn’t start realizing certain things until I started to get the same cards over and over, and more so spookily in the same place in my celtic cross spread.. and the chances of that happening are like.. 1 in 700 or so. It’s just not likely, so that’s when I understood it wasn’t chance at all.
It just wasn’t easy for me to get adjusted to my tarot deck, I simply forced myself to do readings all the time, till before I knew it, it was familiar and even now I’m growing closer all the time. I have a lot of problems and a lot of things to hide (denial) and when my cards would show me the truth I’d be defensive, numb, disassociate, angry etc. Which made doing tarot readings really difficult for me. But I learned over time that I can not ignore what she is telling me. Bad things happen when I ignore her. She’s only trying to look out for me, and all I did was ignore her. I had to reset my deck 2 times. Once out of need and second out of refresh. The first time I just felt there was so much animosity pent up in my cards, like she was at war with me. after i reset the deck, the energy left and a more peaceful one came. (reset via putting the cards back in order in which it came from the store) So that helped a ton.
I don’t get along with other decks very well. My pent up anger and blocks don’t fair well with an unfamiliar deck, the trust just isn’t there. I use my tarot cards like my life depends on it honestly. I don’t even call them tarot card readings anymore, I call them tarot card healing sessions.
What I do is.. I do a reading, but I use the energy the cards bring to heal myself. My cards are a gateway to energy and revelations. By just touching my cards or a certain card, I can be healed. I let the inspiration flow to me and through me from the card to create healing. Kinda like.. my cards know exactly what I need to ‘know’ or ear, and gives that to me, but often it’s not by words, it’s just me assimilating the energy. So it’s more talking directly to my subconscious. So I can’t put into words what the transfer is, but I can feel the energy shifts within me. I do a lot of energy healing when I do tarot card readings, I release and transmute a lot of blocked and in-pained energies. It’s a mix of many things that I do. Working with the Goddess/universe, using my clairsentience, my clairvoyance, my connection to my cards, my ability to channel higher wisdom from inside of me. It’s turned into a pretty complex process.
But honestly it’s just so natural to me. I just all of the sudden started to do it one way and never stopped. One day it just hit me that I was seriously clairvoyant and I didn’t even realize it, lol. I didn’t realize I was developing my psychic abilities. I was just doing what I instinctively knew to do. Because really, my life depends on my healing. I have a serious amount of inner trauma and wounds. It’s no light thing. So it’s a huge deal that I work everyday to heal myself, specially through out the eclipse seasons. Course it’s not easy, not ‘fun’, lol. I have to reach down to the darkest parts of me to heal myself, and that uncovers a lot of angry and unsavery parts of myself. It’s not easy accepting such hard truths about myself, but it’s what must be done. Seems like a death blood game honestly. No shortage of destroyed energy body here.
My energy body is probably worse than anyone can imagine. I’d hate to be the person who get’s a look at my energy. Oh wait.. I am that person. But what others may not like to see, I have to feel it. When I’m bleeding to death, my chest had been decimated, that’s no fun. and I can feel it on a physical level. I’m like “holy crap” as I try not to go into shock. I can literally feel the loss of blood, the blood running down my body, on my hands, I can see it with my clairvoyance. So when I say I’m having a hard time, I seriously mean it. I’m not even sure how I am alive. I can’t imagine I’d be alive if I didn’t have disassociation. Any connection to that energy for too long really would mean death. Course I have been worse. Maybe it’s no wonder I had so many panic attacks back 5 years ago. It would make sense that my physical body was responding to a decimated energetic body. I can’t complain about what I suffer now compared to then. I was basically dead on the floor in the worst way. Beaten, marred, anything you can possibly imagine to be done to a person, that was my energy body.
The more I think about things, I really don’t know how I’m alive right now. I almost literally died back then, because my physical body was simply failing me. Too many panic attacks, too much emotional strain. My health was gone, my strength gone, nervous system damaged, brain damaged, couldn’t stop the attacks, couldn’t rest, couldn’t stop the adrenaline surges.
I suppose I was lucky to have lost my memory, because memories are tied to our emotional body. I suppose it makes sense why I could never focus growing up either. My body knew that if I ever connected to the devastation in my energetic body that I’d never make it. I have to ask myself… why…….. How could this have happened? I have no understanding of what level of damage or abuse can harm the energetic/emotional body to such a fatal degree. I suppose it’s something I’ll have to ponder.