I am a bringer of life and death

My comment/thoughts in reply to the supplied facebook post. 

       Well.. I don’t wake up then. I don’t want to. I need my sleep. I feel my healing maybe much more intense than other people. I am healing deep traumas and digging deep. If I don’t sleep, I just wont make it. I go through tremendous amounts of physical pain in my clearings. I am wounded, I have been wounded. My auric feild and energy body is and has been desolate. I see it, I see it in my clairvoyance. See and feel. I know it. I do. I can feel when I’m bleeding to death, I can see it too. To me, it’s no different than i’ve just had my chest destroyed and losing blood fast. I am incredibly psychic and intuitive. and it’s nothing short of devastating. It hurts me so much, I never imagined I was so wounded.

       I didn’t foresee embodying that so intensely. Feeling so strongly that I was dying. It’s beyond a bullet, wound, my entire chest was taken out. I had no ribs, nothing, it was all blood, all destroyed. It’s fucking maddening, sometimes I feel I’ll loose my fucking mind due to the pain. It’s no fucking wonder I have multiple personalities. My different sides do all they can to protect me from the devastation. I feel that I’ve always been dying. Bleeding to death, barely alive. and I hate it, I hate it so much, because I never foresaw it. Back when I was really sick it seemed like common sense, I thought I got through it all, but I didn’t.

       Though………… come to think of it………………. a destroyed chest is a step up from how I used to be. My entire energetic feild or emotional body used to be what some would deem to be beyond repair. Just a pool of blood, dead, beaten, abused, words can’t discribe the devistation. So saying that I suppose I have moved my way up, but bleeding to death none-the-less is terrifying. I suppose before I just looked on at the image, but now I felt it. I have it on video, I can’t imagine my reaction would be different than if the wound was physical, despite the fact the person would have already been dead… but fuck physics lol. So when I tell you, I needed sleep and I need sleep, I mean it. Besides.. aw man.. it was just 5:55pm lol i missed it XD but I do see 11:11, 2:22 often. I personally also love 12:12, 12:11, 12:21 .. it’s cuz I’m a 29/11 life path :3.. Also I don’t need silly things to confirm what I already know to be true about myself.

       I don’t need to wake up at 3am, nor do i need to see 11:11. Course.. I’m in love with numbers so I prefer to see the lovely numbers xD I am an 11 life path, a master number. I have nothing to fear, and beyond that, I know my truth, I know of what I am born, I know my abilities, I know how important I am. Being wounded does by no mean I am worth less than anyone else, it just means I hold a greater destiny. Much is given to me, thus much is expected. I am powerful, very powerful. and thus I need to heal my unsavory nature to be able to excell. Someone as powerful as me would be extremely dangerous if I wasn’t meant to heal. I have no intentions of abusing my power, I’m already bleeding to death inside, I think I got a hold of what my destiny is. I am still wounded inside, I am still broken, I still have bad intentions, it’s true. Today more than ever I can not deny my ill intentions for this world. I am powerful. but I also love. and it’s because I love that I strive to heal who I am and be someone who is truly worthy of my gifts.

        My ancient selves always wanted better from me. To think someone of my caliber was an orphan. Beaten, abused.. left for dead. I do not fear my future, and I give myself strength to face my past. I do not love this world, I hate it. I hate those who have harmed me, and their actions will never be condoned. But there is something inside of me, something greater than my hatred, it is my love. and I own it all, the good and the bad. I will not shame my hatred, for much evil has been done to me, but I will not shame my love either. For the love of those who have always watched over me, I will walk into my destiny with pride. I am the darkness and the light. I come to give life and take it away. Actually.. more than I ever thought. Much needs to be destroyed in this world, and it is my kind who will see it’s completion. My icon is the tower card in the tarot. I do not fear change nor the destruction of my very soul. I fear nothing.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s